doctors: why are all your bones broken
me: totally gnarly kick flip
doctors: fucking savage bro
Spanish Teacher: ¿Cómo estás?
Me: Estoy bitchin’
remember when zack and cody entered a parallel universe
and london was smart
and maddie was dumb
and esteban was a woman
so basically they were their stereotypes
you know whats better than a mozerella stick?
37 mozzarella sticks
apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so